This is my fifth semester here at BYU, and this is the first modesty note I’ve received. For the most part, BYU men are the most respectful, sweet guys who as a whole are pretty good at controlling their own thoughts. The periodicals guy was an exception.
HOWEVER, this modesty policing is not an isolated incident. I’ve heard too many stories (always from girls) of invasive notes calling them out for borderline dress code infractions.
Was my shirt immodest? Maybe technically (although I maintain that it’s not). Did my wearing it merit a humiliating note? Absolutely not.
I love both LDS doctrine and (for the most part) LDS culture. I have no problem with the modesty standards either- I just feel that the enforcement of modesty is sometimes a little overzealous and one-sided. Also, I want to point out that unnecessary modesty shaming happens everywhere, not just in Utah.
To the people who suggest that the man was just looking innocently: He was gaping with a kind of slack-jawed transfixion I thought only existed in movies. It took several moments for me to even be able to make eye contact because he was so focused.
Some have commented that my shirt is inappropriately sheer. I disagree. I have worn this shirt a lot in the 2 years since I’ve gotten it, and I have never once noticed it being see-through. You would have to be focused pretty hard on my chest to see anything. Besides, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a guy’s garments through his shirt. And you know what I do in this situation? I look away. Take note, people.
Something many people may not know is that breast size fluctuates greatly (up to one or two cup sizes) depending on hormone levels, and this change can happen quickly. A shirt that is modest in the morning can become scandalous by afternoon. If you see a girl busting out of her top, assume that her estrogen spiked unexpectedly. (Or that she just gained some weight and hasn’t had the time or can’t afford to buy a new wardrobe, or that clothing stores don’t offer sizes that sufficiently cover her, or ideally that her body is none of your darn business.)
I chose to remain anonymous. Because of this, some have insinuated that I am not actually a BYU student. Here is a photo of the blue shirt (don’t mind the ink smudge) with my BYU ID:
And here is a closeup on the ID: (note that it says “Student” beneath my covered picture)